Night Thoughts

I am thinking about the special guide we hired at Khajuraho. He was impossibly geeky .. Small guy wiyh coke bottle glasses that had red ear pieces, dressed very neatly and being proudly professional when he used a mirror to shine light on a deep relief pannel pannel on the outside of the temple. 69 he says and nods then leans in making eye contact with Susan and says 'you know 69 right?' We nod knowledgely. This little perv has a great job! He continues down the wall while we try to keep straight faces and assure him yes we understand that one. Then Susan lets out a groan when the animals come into the mix and he is now estatic. 'You see madam, there is nothing new, 1000 years ago already being done.' I am thinking about the picture of the two of us assuring this little grinning geeky guy that we understand the depictions on the temple and I am belly laughing in bed. Just crazy.

Then back to the train where we are carrying our duffle bags on our backs via the two stap handles bacpack style and our day packs on our chest with their straps going front to back around our shoulders --- probably 45 to 50 pounds each with the bottles of water etc. we walk up and down long steps and long steep ramps. We weave through cars and people everywhere seemingly trying to separate us where we would be lost forever.

Getting on or off the trains we are confronted with the mass of people sleeping on the sidewalks and the train platforms. Many very hungry people. We are eating some bryani and an old lady impossibly thin is motioning that she is hungry. Susan digs out the hard boiled egg from her dish and gives it to her in a piece of foil. We see her mouth is watering uncontrollably. But she takes the egg and with prayer hands bows to Susan saying her many thanks then turns and devours the egg as if she has not eaten for days. Darn, I had already eaten my egg.

So then we started saving any leftovers or things we did not eat from the train dinners and watch a girl at the next station tear into packages and ravish our left overs. I can't get their faces out of my mind. All the hungry, homeless desperate people .. young children to very old people and we -- well fed and comfortable are walking through such need. I begin to regret my last meal and the aura of guilt must surround me because the street people always surround me the most recognizing the weak one in the group. When I have handed a small bill to a begger it becomes disaster -- me trying to push my way out of what seems like a thousand hands and begging eyes that have decended upon me. But what can we do? The problem is so large and overwhelming. So I am back to having extra food to give to those who look truly hungry and not the husslers masquerading as the hungry. Help one or two.

Turning a totally blind eye is not an option for us but we have to so often. Contradictions and being overwhelmed with all of it are everyday feelings.

Then we are past the beggars the taxi and tuk tuk drivers are the next solid crowd we must push through while they try to steer us to their vehicle. We weave our way through a huge tangle of taxis and tuk tuks jammed three across in one and a half lanes in front of the station. We are looking for the driver who is there to pick us up. We push through the people congregating all around the vehicles -- all of the vehicles with passengers are now honking constantly even though they are 30 or 40 vehicles back in the jam. We carry our bags several blocks out of the din and madness and climb into the car Lalit has waiting for us and we escape smoothly into the night leaving the madness behind temporarily.

Our guide Lalit (not to be confused with the special temple specific guides we use) is wonderful and has made things easier for weeks now. There would probably be some pretty ugly stories if we were without him.

3:30 am -- i have to sleep. My mind has to slow down. Hopefully This entry has helped. I read Jake and Julian's blog yesyesbicycle.com and the entry is right on --been there. But they write so well and such good descriptions that they are worth time to read. Take a look.

Darryl & Susan